So I am up and listening to see whether its raining, Looking out of the skylight up at the clouds. I can see all these lights and they are moving. Its an incredible sight and it takes me a while to realise that the lights are connected. Christ its a plane. Low. Above the house but moving relatively slowly. But there's no noise. Through the clouds I can vaguely make out the end of the plane as it passes, but its revolving not at all like an engine. Then another. I don't believe it its either a load of zepplins or some kind of spaceship. I shout out "we are being invaded". I thought 'lets see Abbott find an island for this lot". I got myself together and raced around the house, turned on the computer and quickly checked the Giro results from the night before. Michelle's hearthrob check. Knoballi check. Shrimponi won it, seems alright. The Crab, the Wino and the fake Tour winner no where to be seen...seems alright, which means apart from the aliens floating in through the clouds all is well. Now. Better find the family. Round them up, well I had to get Michelle up as she hadn't completed the regulation 23 hours sleep yet, and told them what I'd seen. Ruby screamed out and pointed at the window. There was a set of pipes hovering above the window. Quite a few more hovering above other houses too. Shit. The BBC were totally wrong aliens aren't in humanoid form. All those years I'd been warning the girls about Dr.Who being factually incorrect. I fucking told em too 'ya dad's always right'. I turned to Michelle ' even when he's wrong'. We went to the front of the house which had suddenly turned into the glass frontage of a furniture shop. Strange. I looked around to see if we had died already and had gone to IKEA. No all's well. Ruby screamed again. Girls, funny how many sounds they can make which are a variation on sqealing. There appeared to be a lizard alien standing on our skylight looking down. I quickly took a picture with my iPhone (product placement - ed) just in case no-one found us alive. We rushed to the front window. Some more aliens were now standing at the front, all forms of lizards. They were taking on earth shapes the bastards. I could see this was going to be difficult. There were a rack of spears near the front door of our furniture shop/artifacts/house so I grabbed a bamboo pointy thing and looked threatening. They cleared off. The door opened Michelle and the kids went out. "Where are you going" I shouted. There was no time to waste they could be captured so I bravely stepped back a metre and shouted louder. They came back in. Loads of people suddenly appeared and entered the door sitting down at the benches in our furniture shop/artifacts/cafe/house. The buzz was about the creatures, the invasion and if the authorities knew. We all realised we didn't have any oil or gas so no government was going to save us. The aliens returned only this time they had morfed into humanoid form. Well well, as per usual the BBC were right after all. This was getting confusing. Who could we trust. Just as suddenly as they appeared they retreated again and the doors were opened and two bearded guys walked in one equipped with a megaphone. The larger one started speaking...oh no 'christians'. I quickly speared them before they became a danger to us and the aliens. All is quiet now. The aliens are elsewhere and we are listening to reports on the radio of other events. Apparently Essendon beat the Doggies, shit another tip goes wrong. More importantly I SMS'd Ben and he can't leave the house so it looks like I am stuck here. Sorry guys won't be able to make the Whittlesea challenge today.
So I am up and listening to see whether its raining, Looking out of the skylight up at the clouds. I can see all these lights and they are moving. Its an incredible sight and it takes me a while to realise that the lights are connected. Christ its a plane. Low. Above the house but moving relatively slowly. But there's no noise. Through the clouds I can vaguely make out the end of the plane as it passes, but its revolving not at all like an engine. Then another. I don't believe it its either a load of zepplins or some kind of spaceship. I shout out "we are being invaded". I thought 'lets see Abbott find an island for this lot". I got myself together and raced around the house, turned on the computer and quickly checked the Giro results from the night before. Michelle's hearthrob check. Knoballi check. Shrimponi won it, seems alright. The Crab, the Wino and the fake Tour winner no where to be seen...seems alright, which means apart from the aliens floating in through the clouds all is well. Now. Better find the family. Round them up, well I had to get Michelle up as she hadn't completed the regulation 23 hours sleep yet, and told them what I'd seen. Ruby screamed out and pointed at the window. There was a set of pipes hovering above the window. Quite a few more hovering above other houses too. Shit. The BBC were totally wrong aliens aren't in humanoid form. All those years I'd been warning the girls about Dr.Who being factually incorrect. I fucking told em too 'ya dad's always right'. I turned to Michelle ' even when he's wrong'. We went to the front of the house which had suddenly turned into the glass frontage of a furniture shop. Strange. I looked around to see if we had died already and had gone to IKEA. No all's well. Ruby screamed again. Girls, funny how many sounds they can make which are a variation on sqealing. There appeared to be a lizard alien standing on our skylight looking down. I quickly took a picture with my iPhone (product placement - ed) just in case no-one found us alive. We rushed to the front window. Some more aliens were now standing at the front, all forms of lizards. They were taking on earth shapes the bastards. I could see this was going to be difficult. There were a rack of spears near the front door of our furniture shop/artifacts/house so I grabbed a bamboo pointy thing and looked threatening. They cleared off. The door opened Michelle and the kids went out. "Where are you going" I shouted. There was no time to waste they could be captured so I bravely stepped back a metre and shouted louder. They came back in. Loads of people suddenly appeared and entered the door sitting down at the benches in our furniture shop/artifacts/cafe/house. The buzz was about the creatures, the invasion and if the authorities knew. We all realised we didn't have any oil or gas so no government was going to save us. The aliens returned only this time they had morfed into humanoid form. Well well, as per usual the BBC were right after all. This was getting confusing. Who could we trust. Just as suddenly as they appeared they retreated again and the doors were opened and two bearded guys walked in one equipped with a megaphone. The larger one started speaking...oh no 'christians'. I quickly speared them before they became a danger to us and the aliens.
ReplyDeleteAll is quiet now. The aliens are elsewhere and we are listening to reports on the radio of other events. Apparently Essendon beat the Doggies, shit another tip goes wrong. More importantly I SMS'd Ben and he can't leave the house so it looks like I am stuck here. Sorry guys won't be able to make the Whittlesea challenge today.
The ride was good.
ReplyDeleteSorry I couldn't make whittlesea...I had to blow butterflies in a mad spanglish houses's skylight in Clifton hill.
ReplyDelete