Sunday, February 28, 2010

The Mighty Hoth

1 comment:

  1. Times

    Basso 1 hr 40 mins
    Sleepy 1 hr 45 mins
    Count Spanglish 1 hr 48 mins
    Luke 1 hr 59 mins
    Hamster 2 hrs 5 mins
    Muppet 2 hrs 5 mins
    Potter 2 hrs 12 mins
    Mechanic 2 hrs 12 mins
    Joker 2 hrs 45 mins

    DNF
    Yoda 150m short
    Doc 1.8km short
    Connor 1.8km short
    Frosty 10km short
    Sag man Support

    Riddle me this:

    1).What's it called when you have 9 hours ride time, your Bianchi rides without a hitch And YET, you make at least 5 mechanical stops?

    1a). And Mr Potter, can you tell me whether this provides a time bonus to the Hogwart's time keeper ruling of 2hrs 12 minutes (3 minutes faster than real world time but who would argue with the wizard)?

    2) How does the Bear (aka: Wild Man Nick, aka Bruce Willis, aka The Joker) continue to smile whether he's describing a world catastrophe, getting smashed on Saturday, smashing everyone on Sunday, standing knee deep in ants or his wife's cooking?

    3) How is it 13 grown men who conquer mountains, face nature's wrath head on and go on masse into country towns wearing lycra are too afraid to present Gonz with his obvious nick name?

    Time for another Rhyme.


    The Silly Hill Billies (Sung to the music of The Beverley Hill Billies)

    Once there was a man named Ged
    Bought himself a bike cause the kids preferred their bed
    Packed up the car for a weekend with the crew
    Ended with the gruppo and the wife and babies too... 26 that is...Texas gold.

    Next thing you know the boys are up and heading down
    The Muppet leads the race but the Tiger can't be found
    The gruppo takes it easy as the breaking 3 take flight
    The Bike Whisper's up-staged by a one-armed freak in bright

    Carlos hits the hill and we think we hear him curse
    Testing all his stitching while his Look is in reverse
    If you can't match the Hamster in a race up to the top
    try to sell his Ridley to the locals at the shop...cafe culture that is....pissing rain....Texas gold.

    Meanwhile the Doctor's dragging Yoda up the hill
    Who would have thought the jedi had in him still
    Riding through the clouds wasn't ever in the plan
    The gruppo's sinking coldies while they're waving down the van

    While the sag man grabs the chokers the gruppo's empathy is scant
    The Joker's treating rashes that he's blaming on the ants
    They've washed and dressed and eaten before they realise something's lost
    Sitting at the gate is Carlos mating with Jack Frost...all alone that is...behind a cloud...Texas gold

    The End.

    Apologies to tales of:
    The day of failing rubber.
    Steven Bradbury returns
    What happens when you lock Demons in a small room with taps and toilet paper
    Dutiful wives' club
    Dinner PAIN
    The Pissing Well in One Tree Town
    Where has Darwin Gone?
    and
    Confessions of a Mechanic


    Itsy bitsy hamster climbed the mountain side
    Down came the rain and washed poor Hamster's pride
    Out came the sunshine and dried up Dinner plane
    And Itsy Bitsy Hamster was loved by all again.

    it's raining, it's pouring.
    Ivan Basso's snoring
    He race ahead of sleepy head who couldn't get up in the morning.

    Rain, rain go away where's the van to save my day.

    There once was a Spanglishman unruly
    Who thought Hotham was his...no truly
    He never looked back
    And eventually cracked
    Now we all know The Count peaks prematurely

    stand by all you others.
    Apolodies from the distribution:
    Doctor
    Yoda - Ancient but agile warrior jedi.
    Sag man

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