Dear Bike track Commuter

I'm Sorry. I'm sorry I had just ridden through the mud for the past 20km and didn't look as clean cut, shaved and presentable as yourself. I'm sorry that I activated the lights for you whilst you hung back. I'm sorry that I wasn't rolling down the hill fast enough and you had to pass. I'm sorry that I jumped on your back wheel whilst we were going up hill. Yes you were doing an amazing 30km/hour (wow!) but on a MTB is a lot harder and I was after some help. But, to shake your head and bitch and moan that I was there ? So, I sat up and gave you a little clap. You are awesome. (The woman running enjoyed the clap) And I understand that you couldn't stop to see if the kid pushing his BMX was ok. You were in a race with yourself, to beat last Friday's time when you really nailed it on the bike track. Yes Trek man, you would of left work at 5.17pm (so you can get your rdo every fortnight) changed into your team kit and turned into Lance. Yes, I was on a fat ass mountain bike. Yes, I have a fat ass gut. And yes, I have a fat ass ass. But its just a b i k e t r a c k. However, should I see you on my road bike that is 5kg lighter with tyres 1/3 of the width, I will tear you a new asshole. That is unless the grade turns to anything greater then +3% where my chain will fall off or I will have some other weird mechanical.