We must pay hommage to the inventor of the wheel. His wheel lead ultimately to the wheels that drove your mother and father (whoever he was) to the hospital to give birth to you. His wheel provided the transport that carried you to shops and mother's group in your infant years. His wheel provided you with ours of fun as you played with your favourite planes, trains and automobiles. His wheel lead to your first bike, car and now provides you with the sublime combination of hobby, sport, passion, escape and comradery...your rode bike.
So let's celebrate the life and ingenuity of...of....uhm...what's his name? Oh, that's right. We don't know his name because he didn't post his fucking event!!!! Similarly, some lazy arsed gaylords in lycra pranced around the lefty tree hugging hills surrounding King Lake and FAILED to post the adventure!!!!
Where is the Rhyme? Where is the Song? Where is the witty prose? I fear otherwise the spirit of that inspired BBTT is truely dead.
This is serious, mum! I assure we won't be so complacent and selfish for the world championships ride.
We are still chewing away at the 'loolie teeth' they gave us at the last stop. Let me see. We met on the road to Arthurs Creek. "Oo what a luvvely bike you have there, Spanglish on the New Spangly Scott," said the Hamster in his finest Somerset accent. Then we mentioned the sad "Oo spineless sloths" who rode up to the Beach Road of the hills - Sassafras, instead of taking part in a known unknown known event. Then we pondered where the Mechanic was. TorbloodyQuay my arse. Doesn't know anyone outside of Malvern, so we concluded Luigi had run off with another mechanic..well it is a Fiat. The first hill came along and we shut the fuck up. Hamster was cruising at 7800rpm and 1mm above the ground. Ash, or 2134 as he was known until Skywalker deemed it neccessary to forward his name, kept us company until Kinglake. Oh the joy of climbing into a headwind. Hamster got KOM points and we re-arranged our shrivelled willies whilst stealing loads of the AMCOR bars provided at the reststop. Then we rode to the roundabout and lost the Hamster, who got back to Whittlesea first, dirty filthy rodent shaped cheating Nazi staff car owner. Did he take a short cut? Was he spreading water on his brow when I turned up? Anyway, moving on. Skywalker and I stumbled on a pack of wankers who were doing turns from the back of their line!!! into the headwind, so we laughed and sucked the rubber and chrome off their wheels before ambling around Flowerdale discussing the finer points of riding in France and swimming in San Sebastian. Spanked it back from Flowerdale over the rollers, crosswinds downhill at 70km/h sphincter holding onto the seat for grim life and finally a sort of tailwind into the finish. Frankly, took me longer to tclean the bike. Next time some smart arse cunt offers me a replacement frame and its white I will show him exactly where his bottom bracket is located.
"When I get older, losing my shit, not many years from now..
Will we still be driving out to King-lake town, hamster's V Dub, get-me-there-now...
Roll to the start line, freezin' my balls , black and red galore...
Are you still speedy, or are you just weedy, are you a Kinglake whore?
(Music)....Ev-ery-one's pul-ling o-out....the Mechanic and B-T are po-oooo.....it's god-damn cold out-here, wish I was in-bed-too.....bada, bada, bada, badup, bup, ba, ba, bup, bupbadaba....
Move to the start line, catch up with Ash, plan Spanglish rendez-vous, David Hansen pays-me-out-in-triple-time, we're a-bout to go-for-a-ride!
Left at the round-about, pick up Ger-ard, who could ask for more?
My legs are hurting, put up the white curtain, I feel 64!!
Stick together for-a-while until we hit Will Walker's climb (hamster spins-like-wild)...still ca-an't fe-el my-y ha-a-ands....ba, ba, ba, ba...ba, ba, bada, ba........stop briefly in King-lake....energy bars-are-still-fkn-bland...
bada, bada, bada, badup, bup, ba, ba, bup, bupbadaba....
Put on our jackets, start the de-cent, dead wombat 1 & 2, hit the melba-highway-doing-40 kay, we're in-a-fast-train-racing-away....
Nearing the end now, together no-more, wombats 3 & 4....up the last climb, I'm smashed by a lady, who looks like she's 64!!!!!
We must pay hommage to the inventor of the wheel. His wheel lead ultimately to the wheels that drove your mother and father (whoever he was) to the hospital to give birth to you. His wheel provided the transport that carried you to shops and mother's group in your infant years. His wheel provided you with ours of fun as you played with your favourite planes, trains and automobiles. His wheel lead to your first bike, car and now provides you with the sublime combination of hobby, sport, passion, escape and comradery...your rode bike.
ReplyDeleteSo let's celebrate the life and ingenuity of...of....uhm...what's his name?
Oh, that's right. We don't know his name because he didn't post his fucking event!!!!
Similarly, some lazy arsed gaylords in lycra pranced around the lefty tree hugging hills surrounding King Lake and FAILED to post the adventure!!!!
Where is the Rhyme?
Where is the Song?
Where is the witty prose?
I fear otherwise the spirit of that inspired BBTT is truely dead.
This is serious, mum! I assure we won't be so complacent and selfish for the world championships ride.
We are still chewing away at the 'loolie teeth' they gave us at the last stop.
ReplyDeleteLet me see. We met on the road to Arthurs Creek. "Oo what a luvvely bike you have there, Spanglish on the New Spangly Scott," said the Hamster in his finest Somerset accent. Then we mentioned the sad "Oo spineless sloths" who rode up to the Beach Road of the hills - Sassafras, instead of taking part in a known unknown known event. Then we pondered where the Mechanic was. TorbloodyQuay my arse. Doesn't know anyone outside of Malvern, so we concluded Luigi had run off with another mechanic..well it is a Fiat. The first hill came along and we shut the fuck up. Hamster was cruising at 7800rpm and 1mm above the ground. Ash, or 2134 as he was known until Skywalker deemed it neccessary to forward his name, kept us company until Kinglake. Oh the joy of climbing into a headwind. Hamster got KOM points and we re-arranged our shrivelled willies whilst stealing loads of the AMCOR bars provided at the reststop. Then we rode to the roundabout and lost the Hamster, who got back to Whittlesea first, dirty filthy rodent shaped cheating Nazi staff car owner. Did he take a short cut? Was he spreading water on his brow when I turned up? Anyway, moving on. Skywalker and I stumbled on a pack of wankers who were doing turns from the back of their line!!! into the headwind, so we laughed and sucked the rubber and chrome off their wheels before ambling around Flowerdale discussing the finer points of riding in France and swimming in San Sebastian. Spanked it back from Flowerdale over the rollers, crosswinds downhill at 70km/h sphincter holding onto the seat for grim life and finally a sort of tailwind into the finish. Frankly, took me longer to tclean the bike. Next time some smart arse cunt offers me a replacement frame and its white I will show him exactly where his bottom bracket is located.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteand in conclusion:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVE60zwXx1k&NR=1
OK, try hummin the Beatles Classic to this one..
ReplyDelete"When I get older, losing my shit, not many years from now..
Will we still be driving out to King-lake town, hamster's V Dub, get-me-there-now...
Roll to the start line, freezin' my balls , black and red galore...
Are you still speedy, or are you just weedy, are you a Kinglake whore?
(Music)....Ev-ery-one's pul-ling o-out....the Mechanic and B-T are po-oooo.....it's god-damn cold out-here, wish I was in-bed-too.....bada, bada, bada, badup, bup, ba, ba, bup, bupbadaba....
Move to the start line, catch up with Ash, plan Spanglish rendez-vous, David Hansen pays-me-out-in-triple-time, we're a-bout to go-for-a-ride!
Left at the round-about, pick up Ger-ard, who could ask for more?
My legs are hurting, put up the white curtain, I feel 64!!
Stick together for-a-while until we hit Will Walker's climb (hamster spins-like-wild)...still ca-an't fe-el my-y ha-a-ands....ba, ba, ba, ba...ba, ba, bada, ba........stop briefly in King-lake....energy bars-are-still-fkn-bland...
bada, bada, bada, badup, bup, ba, ba, bup, bupbadaba....
Put on our jackets, start the de-cent, dead wombat 1 & 2, hit the melba-highway-doing-40 kay, we're in-a-fast-train-racing-away....
Nearing the end now, together no-more, wombats 3 & 4....up the last climb, I'm smashed by a lady, who looks like she's 64!!!!!
Regards
Ben Skywalker
Team Shit Super Domestique
Bravo at last...and enter to the unofficial hall of fame, The Beatles. Now that there tunes have entered BBTT archives they really have made it.
ReplyDelete....Post for new members pending.